Ed Dale’s example misses the point entirely. There’s no conflict between Soft Sell and Upsell. As a Soft Sell marketer my wife, Judith, and I use upsells all the time. So it’s not the technique that is hard sell. It’s how you approach the customer that makes the difference.

In your piece you use words and phrases such as:

“Leaving an insane load of cash on the table.” What is insane about money? This is a term a lot of Internet marketers use as though it somehow describes some reality.

Yes it’s an image, but it’s also very hard in it’s point of view, to say nothing of a dreary cliche.

“Force a customer.” This has nothing to do with the technique of upselling. It has everything to do with the marketer’s dominant/submissive relation to the buyer. Any technique used with that relationship at its base is going to be hard. Instead of pointing to the technique, rather point to the marketer’s cynicism and lack or respect for human beings who happen, in this case, to be customers.

Several other example are — “churn and burn,” “hit them over the head,” “almost taunting you.” Why would anyone want to do business with someone who shows so little care and connection.

You also that you “believe that (the marketer) must ask for the order,” implying that asking for the order is somehow aggressive. That’s just plain wrong-headed. Asking for the order with respect and a sense of the emotional connection between you and the buyer is not aggressive, it is respectful of the human relation as fundamental to the transaction and that is NOT soft, but conscious and discerning.

With All Due Respect …

Neither you nor Ed understand what Soft Sell means. You both have been so steeped in the hard-sell, aggressive point of view that everything is interpreted through that lens. So, of course upsells and asking for the order can only be understood as hard, when, in fact, that is only one way of marketing — and we submit, an approach that is dying out as Internet marketing continues its exponential growth.

Judith & Jim
http://www.theheartofmarketing.com

I agree with you John that when using these tactics you need to pair it with your understanding of your customers and what they like and don’t. When done properly you can get away with a limited version of upsell hell if the offers are crafted properly and in accordance with your customers wants desires, likes dislikes etc.. AND if you have a proper relationship with them.

Without that relationship AND understanding of them, forget about it!

This was the thing i was trying to say in the thread on Warriors about Michel’s article above. Few years ago I experienced multiple upsells and OO’s from a particular marketer, NON IM NICHE, and I was happy to have been presented with them even if it were to a limited upsell hell level. I was that taken with the person and his product line.

Without that pre-relationship work he put in and the quality of his product line I would have just abandoned the cart and never went back.

- Terry

Now I’m wondering Michel do you maybe have some sample of non marketing site that have a lot of upsells?